The age old mustard question
What is the mustard question you ask? Well, it is the beginning of a much bigger issue that almost all kids and parents face.
Let me first explain that my Christina loves mustard - any kind of mustard - hot mustard, honey mustard, yellow mustard. She loves it on hot dogs, sandwiches and uses it as a dip for chicken.
She is now in first grade. And, little by little, as much as I try to fight it, she is starting to get influenced by the opinions of her peers. She is starting to care what they think, she is starting to do what they do, she is starting to like what they like.
And it is even affecting her mustard. How? Well, I made her a ham sandwich for lunch the other day. When she came home she informed me that her friends were all saying "YUCK!!! MUSTARD!!!".
I tried to act like it was no big deal. I laughed and told her to just tell them "You aren't eating it so you don't need to worry about it."
But the next day, as I made her lunch, she noticed I was putting mustard on her sandwich and she comment "Oh" (in a very disappointed tone). And again, I gave her a talk about how she absolutely shouldn't care what others think - especially about something as ridiculous as her sandwich. And she said "OK" and laughed a bit.
Now, what bothers me is that I know this is just the tiny tip of a very big iceberg that we almost all face. We care tremendously about what others think about us. It influences us in so many ways and causes us to do things that we know aren't right or ethical or smart.
I see it happening already, and wish there was a magic pill that would let my little ones learn to march to their drum, do what they know is right and not worry for one single second what others think or say.
But, unfortunately, that pill doesn't exist. And I have to figure out how to raise my little sweetie handle these situations in a way that will allow her to have a happy and productive life.
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I can see where that would be a hard subject to get a handle on. I would assume you would just guide her as best you can. And hope that when it comes to the things that really matter, she stays true to herself no matter what. But I admit, I was more easily influenced when I was younger. And eventually came into my own. Maybe it's something we all have to go through at one time or another?
I think sometimes you have to choose your battles. I might be tempted to let her go along with this one. If it embarasses her to be seen eating mustard at school, then let her choose not to. Maybe you could encourage her to enjoy it at home. Then again... maybe that just encourages conformity on bigger issues down the road. Guess I'm not much help. Parenting is so much guesswork sometimes!
It's sad to see how early the peer pressue starts, isn't it?! It's already happening with my THREE year old. Raw carrots used to be her favorite thing in the world...she won't eat them anymore because "my friend doesn't like them." And Nadia's definitey the leader type with strong opinions of her own, so that shocks me!
Not only peer pressure is a problem, it's jut girls in general. I remember stories from you sister about her oldest. Kids can be so mean. I guess we need to realize these situations are growing experiences. Just keep supporting her and telling her to go with her conscience. She comes from a good family, so I'm sure she will turn out fine.
I think you gave her a perfectly acceptable response. And, I hope she grows up to be carefree about what others think. Of course, that's easier said than done!
I'm starting to get this too with my soon to be 6 year old son. He wants juice boxes like so-and-so and ice cream money like another kid in his class...but hopefully eventually they'll understand and it won't influence them too much.
Peer pressure starts so early. It's so hard to protect them, yet we can't protect them forever. It's frustrating for sure.
Hugs!
Kat
It is hard, and it is so frustrating, too. We have conversations ALL the time (at 3 and 5) about how it's ok that Mister Man likes something and Little Miss doesn't or Mommy doesn't or whoever and that people just have different likes and dislikes and that doesn't mean we don't like them as a person. We'll see what sinks in, but already... they are influenced even by each other, forget their "real" peers. We can only do what we can do. And I'd say it sounds like you're doing it well! Good luck!
oh it is so hard. I personally just keep talking to her about the fact that everyone likes different things, and that is what makes us special. Then I just hope that over time, she'll embrace what makes her special.
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