Serious case of the nerves

I am seriously sick with nerves. I, sort of, took a plunge a few weeks ago and told a few more people about my hope to, someday, have a small photography business. And, surprisingly, they were extremely encouraging!

I have always had a lack of self-confidence. It is something that actually comes and goes. I will feel confident and then find myself in a situation wondering how in the hell I am going to pull this off.

Like when I quit my full time job at 26, took out some school loans, and went back to school full time to earn my MBA.

I spent months planning it, I worked hard on my school applications, and I got accepted in a fairly good school. I then started my classes and thought "OMG, what am I doing? Am I really sharp and smart enough to be here with these people? I don't know! I don't think so!"

But I did well in my classes, and was able to have a great job as a Marketing Manager waiting for me when I was graduated. Which only led me to start question whether I really was sharp and smart enough to do such a job!

I was able to hide most of my fears and was fairly successful during my marketing career, but, deep down, I never could shake my insecurities. And I just hated that.

Now, after being a stay at home mom for a number of years, I discovered my love for photography. I know, if you read this blog, you are probably sick of hearing this, but photography has surprisingly, consumed me. I love doing it, I love studying it, I love everything about it. So I decided to, take the plunge.

I decided to make my intentions and goals public and asked some friends and family members to pass the word along that I would love to do some free photo sessions to gain experience and build up a portfolio.

Well, before I know it, I have TWO family sessions scheduled for tomorrow. For people I have never met. Back to back. YIKES! And it isn't supposed to be the best day for outdoor portraits - snow, rain, mud, sleet. But hopefully, we can find a few nooks and crannies to shoot some photos.

I just wish, for once, I could calm my insecurities and shake my fear. But I know this is completely normal and actually a good thing. And I know I can do a fairly good job. And this truly is something I want to do someday.

So, wish my luck - and if you have any tips to calm my crazy nerves, and shake my insecurities - please pass them on!!

Have a great one!

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Memories of Thanksgiving - 2007

Last year, the day before I was hosting my IL's for Thanksgiving dinner, our TV died. It just turned off and would not turn back on.

Not a big deal, really, except watching a little football, in front of a toasty warm woodstove, after a big meal, is pretty much the ideal Thanksgiving. And when your nice 35" TV died, and you replace it with a 13", it becomes a little less Thankgiving-like. Especially when you need to pass out binoculars to half of the family so they can even see this tiny TV from across the room.

But we made it through Thanksgiving, and then found ourselves upon the greatest shopping day of the year - Black Friday.

Keep in mind that I have never EVER shopped early on Black Friday and, of course, neither has my husband. We would much rather do almost anything than get up and be in a retail store, with a million other crazy people, at the ungodly hour of 5 A.M.

But Wally-world (a.k.a Walmart) had a big ole TV on sale that morning. And since ours was dead, and we REALLY wanted a low cost replacement, my hubby ventured out.

Now let me preface this with the fact that I am a HUGE researcher. I read everything and anything before I make any large dollar purchase.

So, at about 6:30 a.m., I heard my hubby downstairs pounding away, and found him proudly putting together our new TV. He was actually pretty excited that he snagged such a deal and the crowds, in our rural neck of the woods, weren't too bad.

As he continued to bang away, I jumped online. For some God unknown reason, I wasn't really concerned about what type of TV we just purchased. I guess I knew the name and was pretty sure it would be just perfect.

So I asked my hubby for the model number. And I searched and searched and couldn't find anything. What the hell? I kept typing "Panasonic xxxxx", and got zilch.

I got up and looked at the TV more carefully, and then I realized the problem. It wasn't a Panasonic, it was a POLOROID! You know the CAMERA and FILM manufacturers (should have been my first red flag)?? And I tried another search with the correct manufacturer.

And what I found was truly frightful. The reviews were absolutely the worst reviews I have ever seen on any electronic ever. The horror stories included "died after 6 months", "tried to get service and no one would respond to calls". And these stories were everywhere and anywhere I looked.

And, then, at 6:45 a.m., as my husband proudly continued to put together his prize, I quietly informed him that it has to go back.

"huh?"

Yup, his trip out in cold and dark was for nothing.

Luckily, he wasn't too upset. Luckily, we ended up finding a TV through another ad that weekend with MUCH better reviews.

But, unluckily, as we were about to tote our old 35", 200# monster of a TV out to the curb, we decided to plug it in to make sure.

And it worked just fine.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!!!

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Another installment of "Kallie's favorite things"!!!

Last year, I wrote a post discussing my then 2 year old's absolute most favorite things in the world.

I wrote it because I always find it so amusing that us, as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles etc etc, are in search, each holiday season, for the absolute most perfect, most adored, most life-changing gift.

Even though we are often intelligent people who are logical enough to know that the key to happiness has nothing to do with "things", we still feel the need to shower our kids with things every holiday season. And we still spend way more money than we probably should. And, often, the things that make our kiddos the happiest and give them the most enjoyment, are the simplest, most mundane items.

So, I bring you Kallie's (my now 3 year old's) favorite things of 2008. These are the items she plays with the most.

1. The Little Mermaid

The NUMERO UNO item, is none other than "The Little Mermaid". This tiny Polly Pocket type doll is literally in her fist 24 hrs a day. Seriously. You can look at her in the middle of the night and that thing is clenched tightly in her fist. She NEVER lets it go.

And, if she DOES put it down, let me tell you, we put out an APB and don't stop until we find that sucker. She has been attached to this little $3 doll for MONTHS now.

She is nuts. Just look at these photos - in EVERY single one, you will see a tiny mermaid in her hand.

2. The Disney Princess dolls from her TWO year old birthday cake

Yes, she is THREE, so the dolls are from 1 1/2 years ago! But she loves these things! Why? I don't know. I think because they are so small and fit so nicely in her fist. But she plays with these things every single day.

Yup, that's my girl and her cake toppers!!

3. The Little Mermaid pez dispenser

Yes, it is a pez dispenser. No, there is no candy in it. But according to Kallie it IS a princess and it IS The Little Mermaid just like all her other Little Mermaid dolls who can swim and talk and just hang around with all her other mermaid friends.

And she loves it.

4. BARBIE house!

Now, this isn't necessarily a cheap item, but the Barbie house we have is a hand-me-down from the early 70's that we got for free. A neighbor generously passed it down. It is still a little dirty, a lot of the furniture is broken and missing parts, but Kallie doesn't care. She plays "BARBIE HOUSE!" every single day. I occasionally think that we should shell up a $100+ bucks to upgrade her to a newer version, but then I think "Why?". She loves it exactly as it is now. Will she be happier if it was new and more expensive? Nope.

Although I am thinking I should pay more attention as to the Barbie House activities, as Prince Charming seems to be in a bit of a interesting situation.

Yeah, I am not quite sure what is going here.....

But in conclusion, I must say, that I have purchased some cool gifts for my kids. And I am excited to witness their excitement on Christmas morning. Because there is NOTHING like Christmas morning in the life of a child.

But I am guessing, after the tree is down, after all the excitement has died down, that my Kallie Wallie will be back to playing with one of her four favorite things. Hopefully, one of her new gifts will become a new favorite thing.

But I am not holding my breath..

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Revisiting the Christmas card issue

I may actually send out Christmas cards this year.

Yes, I am the scrooge who, although has occasionally sent out cards, more often than not, doesn't bother. I blogged about this last year. I won't link to it though because I don't feel like finding it and you probably aren't actually interested in reading it again anyway!

Don't get me wrong, I like receiving cards, but I have a few, shall we say, issues, about the whole card thing.

For one, I don't really get why you should send cards to people you see all the time.

Now granted, if you are going to send a very personal card with lots of mushy, gushy, lovey, dovey stuff written in it, then a card to a close friend/family member can be quite nice and meaningful.

But if you are someone I see and talk to ALL THE TIME (like a close sibling), it seems strange to get a regular, generic, boxed card that says "Happy Holidays" with only a signature (or worse, a printed signature).

I just don't get the point. You see these people and talk to these people almost daily. You spend the holidays WITH them. So what exactly is the point of the card? You are thinking of me? I know you are thinking of me, we just talked a hours ago and I will see you tomorrow. So, doesn't it really seem like such a waste of time and money to send such a person a generic card?

I think cards are nice and very appropriate to send to friends and family that you do not see or talk to very often. It is nice to say, at least once a year, "Hi! Hope things are well, thinking of you!". And even nicer when you add a little personal note to let the person know that you actually sat down and WROTE the card while thinking of them.

And my second issue is when I get a card JUST because I sent someone a card. If they were already sending me a card, fine, but please do not feel obligated to send one just because I sent one. Again, what is the point?

OK, call me scrooge, but that is my beef with the holiday season.

But, as I said, I may actually send cards this year. Eric has a lot of family out of town, and they might like to see a picture of the kiddos since they, literally, NEVER see the kids. So, maybe, this year, a card, a photo and a note would be nice.

So I gathered my kiddos up this weekend and got some photos that may or may not make the card this year. Here are some takes. It was a little hard to get the kids to sit still and act happy, but after Daddy started dancing behind me and I started belting out "Happy Birthday" (Caroline loves when I sing this), everyone, including Caroline, was entertained enough to catch a few nice shots:

So, what do YOU think about cards? And what do you do?

Have a good one!!!

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Believing in Santa Claus

Tis the season for the kiddos to start their lists to Santa Claus!

Christina has been working diligently on this effort for some time now and decided to mail her "official" list this week. And, yes, I secretly snagged the list to save for posterity, while telling her I put it in the mailbox and now it is off to the North Pole.

OK, I may be crazy, but I always feel a little guilty going along with the "Santa Claus" thing. I know it is such a magical and amazing time in a child's life. I know that many many kiddos believe in Santa, learn later the truth, and go on to have healthy, normal lives. But I still can't shake the feeling that I am lying to my little girls.

Christina takes this Santa thing very seriously. She has discussed and explained exactly what Santa does to her little sister, Kallie.

She is already planning his yearly snack. (Which, btw, she decided should be something healthy. Sorry Santa, no cookies this year.)

And she asks a lot of questions about how this whole thing works. Like how does Santa get something from Lands End? Does he make them and put the label in them, or does he just buy them from the catalog?

Yes, she is getting smarter and smarter. And soon enough. His gig is up. Santa will be exposed.

I actually don't remember the years when I believed in Santa, but I do remember pretending to believe so I wouldn't hurt my parent's feelings or ruin it for my little sister.

Anyway - here is the official 2008 Santa Christmas list from Miss Christina. She was quite fair in making sure she listed items for all 3 girls.


As you can see, she included a book for Caroline - "Ten little Ducks by Eric Carle" (gotta make sure you avoid confusion by including the author's name).

And Kallie wants "Baby Alive Carrier, that makes traveling more fun!". Can you tell? Yes, she created this list straight from the local toy flyers.

And Christina's list is chock full of Hannah Montana paraphernelia as well as "make-up".

I was careful, though, to warn Christina that even if she does ask Santa for specific items, he knows best and he may have even better ideas than you.

And I leave you with a couple questions.

First - When do kids stop believing in Santa? I am sure kids that have older siblings may find out sooner than others, but when do most of them know for sure there is no such thing?

And why do I feel sad and guilty this time of year!? I know my kids are not going to be permanently scarred, I know they LOVE the thrill of Santa, but when I look at them and see their complete faith in my words and stories about Santa, I get an overwhelming feeling of just breaking down in tears!

And maybe, that sadness is just my realization that these days of innocence and faith will be gone before I know it.

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Natural light!

Ever since I started my photography obsession, I have been on a mission to never use my on camera flash. I hate the look of flash photography and I think it often turns a gorgeous photo into a "snapshot".

So, I have spent most of my days shooting outside as much as possible. However, as we reach into the depths of November, our available sunlight and opportunities to get outside have diminished considerably. And I hate it.

One of my projects these cold, November afternoons has been to find some way to continue to practice my photography using the limited sun and outdoor time.

And what I am finding is that I can create natural light fairly easily! My bedroom has large windows and light walls and lots of solid colors. And it can be a quite bright and often perfect spot for a photo shoot.

And Kallie has grown to actually enjoy our little photo sessions because she gets to play around on my bed. In fact, today, she actually ASKED me to take pictures! And who am I to ever say "no" to such a request!?

Gotta love that light!!!

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I want NU-FING!

If only it was that simple.

Today is the start of 4 months of almost-single parenting. And I hate it.

My husband is a high school coach and today is the first day of their season. The last day is March 20, 2009. Not that I am counting or anything.

But it is hard. I am home with Kallie and Caroline all day. And home alone with all 3 every night. But honestly, usually, it is fine and not a problem.

Except today.

Today Kallie asked me to play Old Maid about 24, 456 times. Which I don't mind, on occasion, but all day???? Geez!

And she told me, many many times:

"Mommy!"

"Yes?"

"I. Want. Nu-Fing!" (Which translates into "I want nothing" for those you not familiar with 3 year old verbage.) But it makes absolutely no sense. And I just say "OK" and go on my way. Easy enough!

She also frequently told me:

"Mommy!"

"What?"

"I'm. Not. TIRED!"

Which I think she repeats over and over because she is in fact, tired, and she doesn't want me, for one nanosecond, to get some crazy notion in my head, like trying to get her to take a nap. So (she thinks), she is beating me to the punch.

And then we have Caroline who is usually so easy because she demands little, gets into nothing, and never fights with her sisters! She is an angel.

Except the last few days she has been fussy and crying and I have no idea why.

I try getting her to nap. No deal.

I try giving her a new toy to play with. No thanks.

I try moving putting her in front of a movie. No way.

I try just holding her. Um, nope.

The only thing she wants is to lay on the living room couch (not the family room couch, thank you very much), and listen to a CD.

She was sick on Thursday, but she has seemed fine since. Although you never know, she may still not be 100%. And unfortunately, she can't tell me. Poor thing.

Oh well, only about 120 days to go!!

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Why don't we all sing ourselves to sleep?

As adults, we have certain steps we take to help settle us down for the night. And people, like me, an adult who always wrestled with insomnia due to too much nighttime stressing and fretting, follow many of these routines religiously. These include:

• Take a warm bath
• Read
• Watch TV
• Just lay quietly and reflect on your day.

And then you compare our procedure to that of a toddler. Their way of setting in for the night is a little different.

For example, my little Kallie's routine often includes:

• Jump on the bed
• Have Ariel and her friend take a swim around the crib.
• Read a book or two - out loud
  
• Sing a little ditty - at the top of your lungs, of course
• Fall fast asleep in some odd, contorted position
  

And Christina's routine was also very similar. I distinctly remember, when she was about 2 and was still awake at about 11 p.m. Eric and I were trying to fall asleep, but had just a bit of trouble because our little toddler was belting out the "Barney song" and her "A,B,C's".

And I wonder, why don't we all do that? Why don't we, as adults, instead of stressing about various problems in our lives, we don't we just lie in bed and belt out our favorite songs? Why don't we jump on our bed? And why don't we fall happily asleep with our legs straight up against the wall?

And I think, actually, our kids have a much better nighttime routine. One that shows shows their much better attitude towards life. One that we all should heed more often:

"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." Mark Twain.

Have a great weekend!!!

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The return of the cupcake

5 Minutes for Mom is having a photo contest. When I initially heard about it, I wasn't going to enter. My competition is extremely stiff. But then today I decided - Oh, what the heck.

The subject is "Fun with Food" and the prize is a $500 gift card for groceries. Who wouldn't swipe that up if they had the chance!?

So, I decided to pull out one of my archived photos from earlier this fall - Kallie and her cupcake - or shall I say "Kallie and her cupcake frosting" as she never actually eats the cupcake.

Have a good one!!

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Growing up too soon!!!

Sadly, my little girl is so quickly growing up. She desperately wants all the things characteristic of a "grown up". She wants make-up, bras, nail polish, jewelry, high heels and now, a boyfriend.

Yes, at 7, my little girl is already having crushes at school. Now I know I sound like any other mother when I say "She is learning all this stuff from her friends at school!"

But I think it is true. She doesn't have older brother and sisters so there is no "boyfriend" talk here. And the shows she watches? Well, usually things like "Arthur", or "Curious George" or "Scooby Doo". And if not those things, then it is often some Disney princess movie. And none of these shows, to the best of my knowledge, focus on boyfriends. Princes? Yes. Boyfriends and crushes? No.

Eric and I have decided that we do not want our girls to be "dating" until they are about 16. Yes, they can have all the boy FRIENDS they want, but I really think you start treading in dangerous waters when you let a very young girl start to seriously date. I think the focus should be school and grades and learning to deal with friendships. And not be focused on boys and dating and all the baggage they bring along. And nowadays? That "baggage" can be horrifying!

Anyway, in FIRST grade, she and a couple other girls have started to "flirt" with an older boy - he is in SECOND grade. And we are getting a little upset at her increasing focus on this little boy.

She talks about him all the time. She writes notes about him in her diary. She writes his name in hearts!!!

We have sat her down and explained that she is WAY too young. She can be friends with this boy just like she is friends with many other boys. But all this mushy gushy talk must STOP.

Now I know this is probably common, but how do you avoid it? A friend of ours, who has college aged children, told us she was very strict in not allowing any dating until age 16. She made sure her kids were aware of this rule from a very early age so there would be no question. And two of her kids were valedictorians and are now pursuing careers in bio-medical engineering. Their focus on school instead of boys definitely resulted in adults with incredible career opportunities. But how did they evolve socially? The jury is still out on that one.

Now, I know Christina isn't actually considering dating this boy, but I think it causing her to act a little goofier and crazier at school than she should. And that is what is causing us to be a little concerned.

So what do you do? Do you raise kids to be focused only on school? When do you allow them to date? I am not sure what to do. I never dated until I was about 17. My parents never really set rules, but I was so incredibly awkward and shy that no boy gave me a second thought, so it wasn't even an option.

I know, this is just a itty bitty problem, compared so some of the stuff I probably will be facing as my kids get older. It is just crazy that we already need to talk to Christina about boys.

Especially considering, in addition to her little love notes, she is also working on her Christmas list for Santa Claus.

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We should all have a Caroline

Before Caroline, I, like many many others, felt very uncomfortable around mentally disabled people. I felt sorry for them, and I felt incredibly uncomfortable if I ever was in a situation where I was near one or, God forbid, I would need to interact with one. But I know this is probably common for most people with no experience with disabled persons.

My husband's aunt has a boy who has many physical and mental disabilities. He is older and he walks and talks, but he is very "different".

I remember when I was dating my husband, and we were obviously very serious about each other, and I started meeting more and more family members. And eventually I met D.

As sad as this is to admit, I dreaded any family events where D was present. And I dreaded them solely for the selfish reason that I felt uncomfortable and I didn't know what to say. D is very friendly. He likes to hug and kiss and talk to people. He will ask the same question over and over.

"What's her name?" he'll ask his mom, pointing to me.

"Irene" she will reply.

"What's her name?" he'll ask again and again.

And then later, to my selfish dread, he would shout across the room:

"Hi Irene!"

And, since he likes to repeat himself many times over, he would say "hi" many many times. That is his way of having a conversation.

I hated that. And, sadly, I think he realized how uncomfortable I was because he rarely did talk to me or say "hi" to me. Of course, I didn't help matters as I tried to avoid situations where I was near him and he may notice me.

So sad, I know.

And I would look at D's little cousins, who were only little kiddos at the time, and they would come over and talk to him and hug him and answer all his repeated questions without giving a second thought. And I would look at them with a feeling of envy. I was embarrassed for feeling as I did, and I thought of how nice life would be if I could feel like they did.

Fast forward to last night -

My three kiddos were laying around watching a DVD. I looked at my oldest and youngest, with Caroline lying smack dab in the middle. Caroline was humming and kicking and not really watching TV. And to my kiddos, Caroline and her "oddities" are no big deal.

And then I thought of how lucky my kids really are. How many kids get to experience true appreciation, understanding and tolerance for those who are different? And not just a little different. My kids have had Caroline, complete with her tubes, and her meds, and her many doctor's visits, in their lives as long as long as they can remember. She represents "normal" to them.

Christina has an autistic boy in her class. He has an aide to help him throughout the day. He often yells during class and can be a little disruptive. Last year, Christina asked me about him, telling me about his outbursts. And I explained to her that God just made him a little different, like Caroline is a little different. And all she said was "Oh yeah!". Made perfect sense to her, no need for further explanation.

And this year, she often talks about playing with this little boy and she never mentions his differences. Hopefully because she, more than most, knows that being a little different is no reason to shy away from someone, or to feel uncomfortable with someone. Because, no matter what, that person is still a SOMEONE who deserves love and respect just like the rest of us somewhat "normal" folk. They are no more and no less important than anyone else on this earth, even if you are comparing them to the President of the US or the Queen of England.

And hopefully, as my kids grow older, they will never feel that tension and uncomfortableness that I felt around D. And hopefully, they will embrace all people like D and Caroline and treat them like they would treat any other person.

And now, as I look back at how I envied D's little cousins and how I wished I could feel as comfortable as they do, I realize that maybe, my wish came true.

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Addicted to Photoshop

I can't imagine my life without Photoshop. Last year, I pretty much had no idea what to even do with this massive program. This year, there isn't a photo I take (and keep) that isn't processed at least a little bit.

My obsession has grown to the point where I want to process other's unprocessed photos that I see. I often see so much unrealized potential. I think "just let me work on the photo for a few minutes, it can look SO much better!".

So today I thought I would try to show some of my basic Photoshop steps. Please remember that I am completely self taught and know that I still have SO much more to learn. So take everything I say with a huge grain of salt. I am sure a Photoshop expert would shudder at some of my processing.

But here it is anyway.

I will start with a photo I took of Christina the other day. Straight out of the camera (sooc) it is OK. Kinda gray, kinda blah.



I have started shooting everything in RAW format. It gives me the ability to adjust white balance afterwards. And it makes it easier to make exposure adjustments.

So the first thing I did was adjust the photo in Adobe Camera Raw. I set the white balance to shade. I bumped up the exposure a bit since it was a little dark. I also increased the blacks and decreased the contrast.


Already looks much better doesn't it?


Now the next thing I do is defog. I learned this tip here and you can read the tutorial if you would like. It is simple. And, by the way, if you want more Photoshop or photography tips, her website has a nice selection.

After defog, I adjust levels, saturation and curves.

With levels, I just make sure the end pointers are at the very edge of each side of the curve. For example, in this photo, there was some blank space at the very right side. I pull the pointer to the end of the curve and the photo is a little brighter.

With saturation I bump it up to about 20 or so. But that usually makes faces look too red, so I desaturate just the red to a little less than the amount of my original saturation.

And lastly, with curves, (which I still need to learn a LOT about), I bump up the contrast by pulling in both ends of the line as so:


After I am done with these basic adjustments (which I do on basically every single photo), I then think about what else needs to be done. Is there anything creative I should do, like convert to BW? Or maybe run a photoshop action that will create a cool effect? Or, as in this case, clean up my daughter's messy face!

As you probably know, kids are notorious for having food all over their face. Surprisingly, I have often taken photos of my kids, only to discover the food when I look at the photo. For some reason, in real life, I never notice it.

But Christina had a nice popsicle stain around her mouth this afternoon.


So I merged my adjustment layers (ctl, shift, E) and then duplicated layers (ctl, J). Using the Spot Healing Brush (a wonderful invention for little ones), I dotted out all her stains.

Much better!


The next thing I do, and the thing I have pretty much started to do with ALL portrait shots, is to run an amazing photoshop action - CoffeeShop PowderRoom. This is a free action you can download here. And, I have read they are going to be modifying this action soon to include even more stuff. I can't wait!

The action comes with instructions that you can read. In this photo, I used the brush at 26% opacity and "powdered" her face a bit. I then defined her eyes a bit with a smaller brush at the same opacity. I just love how this action smooths out skin!


I then merged layers and again duplicated a layer. The very last thing I usually do is make the eyes pop - as per PW's tutorial. I won't go into each of these steps, as you can read her explanation. But I love this little trick, it definitely gives the eyes a little more of a glint!

Again, here is SOOC:


And here is after (including after a little framing which I personally thinks makes a photo look finished.

Can you see why I have developed such an addiction?

And I also found that writing Photoshop tutorials is a LOT of work! However, I absolutely LOVE reading other's tutorials so I thought I would give one a try. I hope it makes sense and is helpful to someone!! I realize there is so much more I could have elaborated on but this post would have been even more massive than it already is.

Oh, and here is another tip. I have found that my photos look so much better, and are a little larger, if I first upload them to my Flickr account and then insert the code for a Medium sized photo directly into my blog post. The last photo in the above post is from Flickr, the rest were downloaded via Blogger so you can see the difference. It may be a pain to upload to Flickr, but I definitely think it is MUCH more of a pain to add them directly into the post AND then have to drag them from the top of the post to the appropriate spot.

Well, have a great weekend!!!

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Fall photos

In my daily perusal of a huge list of photography blogs, I have seen some very nice fall portrait photos. One shot that I thought looked interesting was when a entire family, or a group of kids, lay down in a bunch of leaves and are photographed from above.

We have been experiencing amazingly warm weather this week - which is nice considering I was building a snowman last week. So when my oldest came home from school, I thought would be a great day to try this shot myself. All my kiddos were home, awake and, (I thought), in fairly good spirits.

I got Caroline and Christina in place on the leaves and then I went to get Kallie.

And she had other plans.

No way. No how. She was NOT interested.

And then Caroline got restless and I was left with only one. Christina was my only willing model. Although I do love how her shots turned out.

And she started to get goofy...

And her sister Kallie - still just NOT happy.

But all in all, it was a good exercise. I think the photos look pretty cool and I definitely will again try this again with all three kids.

Sorry Kallie.

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Picking your battles (?)

I have often said, and have often heard other parents say "Well, you pick your battles."

Kids can be difficult. Big kids, little kids, they all offer their fair share of challenges. Sometimes, we feel like we just can't fight it all so we give into some of our child's demands. And we state "well, we pick our battles".

But is that the right thing to do? Yes, there are the itty bitty battles that it sometimes seem silly to fight. And there are the big battles that you don't want to have to fight, but know you must.

But where do you draw the line? And is it really right to "pick" your battles? Shouldn't your kids learn right from the start to listen to and respect their parents? And if you start picking your battles when they are little, is that going to result in your tendency to give in on things you probably should fight as they enter into the difficult teen years? And is that going to result in an older child or teen that is less disciplined and has less respect for their parents?

What I am finding, with my somewhat difficult 3 year old, and have found with my oldest daughter, is that when I fight more battles, and enforce more rules, I actually have not only a much easier, but also a much happier child.

Seems hard to believe, as you would think the opposite is true. But kids need discipline. And kids actually want discipline. As long as it is reasonable.

Now first off, I must say, that there are many things I always will "battle".

1. Respect for others - they must ALWAYS be nice, kind, generous and loving towards others. Yes, sisters may fight, but I am NOT going to let this battle slide. They MUST apologize, hug, kiss and stop their bad behavior. No exceptions.

2. Listen to parents - When I tell my kids to do something at a certain time - they must do it. Whether that is cleaning up, going to bed, stop watching TV. NO exceptions.

3. Sweets - No, they are NOT going to eat their way through their Halloween candy bag. Yes, they have a ton, but it is not at their disposal. And they will only get a few pieces a day AFTER they eat lunch, dinner, etc. NO exceptions.

4. Dinnertime - We always eat dinner together - with a few exceptions when hubby and I are going to have date night. Almost every night, we sit together, we wait for each other to finish, and we don't get *too* silly.

And there are others I am sure...

But there have been some Kallie battles that I haven't been fighting. But recently decided I should.

Battle #1 - clothing

Kallie started going through a phase where she didn't want to wear clothes around the house. And if she did, she would only wear one of two sundresses.

Well, if we aren't going anywhere, it almost seems silly to fight it. But then more problems arose.

She never wanted to go outside because that means clothes. And when we went to visit grandma or her cousins - she would quickly shed her clothes and be running around their house with just undies.

So I decided to put my foot down. And on Thursday, we wore clothes. It was a fight. There were a few HOURS of tears. But the clothes stayed on. And two days later, when she woke, she ASKED me for clothes. And that NEVER happens.

And she likes to go outside again. And she is better behaved. And she seems happier.

Coincidence? Maybe. But I think the discipline is helping to keep her overall behavior in check and make sure she understands that she is NOT in charge here. I am. And that is a battle I know is worth fighting.

Now, I have a long way to go in my 'battle picking' project. I need to work on the potty training issue. And the eating issue since she is the worst eater EVER. And I know more and more issues will continue to creep up over time. Bigger issues. More difficult issues.

I would love to hear other's thoughts on this issue. Do you have battles that you decided not to fight?

And I can't have a post without a photo! Since Kallie is in clothes, I have been able to get more photos. Another bonus from my new rule.

I just can't decide which one I like the best!

Color?

Or black and white?

Have a good one!

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